REBECCA RIVERO
FOUNDER AND EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
REBECCA'S STORY
My name is Rebecca Rivero and I really want to tell you my story or at least a part of it. I am now 23 years old and for about the past six years I have lived with an eating disorder. An eating disorder that at age 18 the doctors at the emergency room could not recognize as valid or even treat because I didn’t hit enough points on their checklist of symptoms to put me in the tiny boxes that define anorexia or bulimia. Those were my only two options. Because I hadn’t lost enough weight and I did not have poor body image they deemed the fact that I hadn’t eaten more than a few hundred calories a day for almost a week as due to run-of-the-mill stress and that I just needed to go home and eat something. They didn’t seem particularly concerned that this “stress” which I saw as a cry for help and need for control was manifesting itself in a way that could have potentially been fatal if no one intervened. When I realized that I had taken it so far as to end up at a hospital and they would do nothing for me, I knew that my only option was to help myself. I am lucky because my mother, who unfortunately battled with similar issues around my age, did what she could to make eating easy and accessible. I made it through, but never really recovered and I was always tormented with the idea that if I didn’t fit into those boxes, there was a good chance that a lot of other people didn’t fit into those boxes either. At age 18, I didn’t know how to find help, frankly after the doctors wouldn’t help me I didn’t know if there was any help to be found.
At age 21 I finally did something about it. After talking to a group of young women online about their eating disorders I realized that the only common thread was a need for control, but symptoms and practices varied widely. This is how Middle Women was born. On April 11, 2012 I text a good friend of mine, Kayla, and asked what she thought about starting a project with me that would challenge any ideas of boxes. The “middle” part of Middle Women means the entire space between two extremes. Whether that is body size, sexual preference, gender presentation, height, weight, or whatever, everyone exists somewhere along all of these spectrum. I was sick of people striving to all fit into one little spot on spectrums as if it was the right place to be, as if there such a thing as “normal”. Kayla loved the idea and we decided to start with a “female body empowerment photo shoot” to showcase what we now refer to as spectrum thinking. We realized that just because I somehow managed to have positive body image most of the time, the majority of people do not. We wanted to create visual representations of what it looks like to be a woman and we set off to photograph women just being themselves. By April 15th, the day of the first photo shoot, we had assembled 12 models and 4 photographers. We took hundreds of photos and posted the first five that night on our tumblr blog. They were met with great support and maybe a few raised eyebrows.
Tragedy struck my community the very next morning when a student living in the residence hall I lived and worked in as an advisor committed suicide. It wasn’t simply the stress and sadness of the situation that made me relapse back into my unhealthy pattern of underrating; it was the training we advisors got about needing to take care of ourselves. I was sad but focused until one of the councilors, of course trying to be wonderfully helpful, reminded us that even though this was a difficult situation we needed to remember to sleep and eat even if we didn’t feel like it. That reminder to eat even when I was feeling like I had so little control over anything that was going on around me sent me right back to the feelings I had experienced just 3 years before. This time was different though, this time I had Middle Women to work on. So I did, every day. I worked to help other people as I was learning to help myself and I was able to talk about what I was going through with anyone who wanted to listen. I was and I still am outspoken about my eating disorder. It’s amazing how many women I get the opportunity to speak with that said that they didn’t know they were allowed to talk about their struggles. It is unfortunate that out of all the women I have spoken with, all of them have either struggled or have someone close to them who has. You would be hard pressed to find such large numbers honestly represented anywhere today.
So, we produced more images and slowly started gaining more attention. After a few months I really wanted to do more, I really needed to do more. It was wonderful that people were admiring what we were doing, but I knew it wasn’t enough. I wanted to start a conversation and develop stronger relationships with the individuals that we sharing and reblogging our photos. So, on September 1, 2012 I launched MiddleWomen.com with the help of some great friends. MiddleWomen.com is a place to see, read, watch, and listen to the art that we create or the art that we find and share with our audience. It is also a place to find resources about eating disorder recovery and a few dozen or so other physical, mental/emotional, and social insecurities, disorders, and disabilities. We are still trying to start that conversation and reach out to more people. We have done a lot, but we know we can do so much more.
Today we are a team of thirty-five that includes some of my best friends and my boyfriend who I met about a year after I started Middle Women. These amazing people run the social media, help get the word out, and continue the mission of inspiring everyone to believe in their passion, beauty and individual worth. No one on the team has ever made a dime through what they do and most of them work every single day on this project. I am so proud of this group and everything they have accomplished. I have found a lot of support and frankly most of my healing energy in this little community. We are all excited to see what we can do next.
At age 21 I finally did something about it. After talking to a group of young women online about their eating disorders I realized that the only common thread was a need for control, but symptoms and practices varied widely. This is how Middle Women was born. On April 11, 2012 I text a good friend of mine, Kayla, and asked what she thought about starting a project with me that would challenge any ideas of boxes. The “middle” part of Middle Women means the entire space between two extremes. Whether that is body size, sexual preference, gender presentation, height, weight, or whatever, everyone exists somewhere along all of these spectrum. I was sick of people striving to all fit into one little spot on spectrums as if it was the right place to be, as if there such a thing as “normal”. Kayla loved the idea and we decided to start with a “female body empowerment photo shoot” to showcase what we now refer to as spectrum thinking. We realized that just because I somehow managed to have positive body image most of the time, the majority of people do not. We wanted to create visual representations of what it looks like to be a woman and we set off to photograph women just being themselves. By April 15th, the day of the first photo shoot, we had assembled 12 models and 4 photographers. We took hundreds of photos and posted the first five that night on our tumblr blog. They were met with great support and maybe a few raised eyebrows.
Tragedy struck my community the very next morning when a student living in the residence hall I lived and worked in as an advisor committed suicide. It wasn’t simply the stress and sadness of the situation that made me relapse back into my unhealthy pattern of underrating; it was the training we advisors got about needing to take care of ourselves. I was sad but focused until one of the councilors, of course trying to be wonderfully helpful, reminded us that even though this was a difficult situation we needed to remember to sleep and eat even if we didn’t feel like it. That reminder to eat even when I was feeling like I had so little control over anything that was going on around me sent me right back to the feelings I had experienced just 3 years before. This time was different though, this time I had Middle Women to work on. So I did, every day. I worked to help other people as I was learning to help myself and I was able to talk about what I was going through with anyone who wanted to listen. I was and I still am outspoken about my eating disorder. It’s amazing how many women I get the opportunity to speak with that said that they didn’t know they were allowed to talk about their struggles. It is unfortunate that out of all the women I have spoken with, all of them have either struggled or have someone close to them who has. You would be hard pressed to find such large numbers honestly represented anywhere today.
So, we produced more images and slowly started gaining more attention. After a few months I really wanted to do more, I really needed to do more. It was wonderful that people were admiring what we were doing, but I knew it wasn’t enough. I wanted to start a conversation and develop stronger relationships with the individuals that we sharing and reblogging our photos. So, on September 1, 2012 I launched MiddleWomen.com with the help of some great friends. MiddleWomen.com is a place to see, read, watch, and listen to the art that we create or the art that we find and share with our audience. It is also a place to find resources about eating disorder recovery and a few dozen or so other physical, mental/emotional, and social insecurities, disorders, and disabilities. We are still trying to start that conversation and reach out to more people. We have done a lot, but we know we can do so much more.
Today we are a team of thirty-five that includes some of my best friends and my boyfriend who I met about a year after I started Middle Women. These amazing people run the social media, help get the word out, and continue the mission of inspiring everyone to believe in their passion, beauty and individual worth. No one on the team has ever made a dime through what they do and most of them work every single day on this project. I am so proud of this group and everything they have accomplished. I have found a lot of support and frankly most of my healing energy in this little community. We are all excited to see what we can do next.
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